To thine own body be true...
I believe that bodies are sacred. that they are to be vessels for the Holy Spirit to indwell. I believe we are to respect our bodies as such and take care of them, nuture them, clothe them, etc. not defiling them with drugs, excessive amounts of alcohol, sex with numerous partners and subjecting our bodies to violence, chosing not to eat food in an effort to stem my size.
as an adult I have a choice. I can chose to subject my body to violence if I really want. I can drink excessively, do drugs, whatever. I am free to chose.
but children often *don't* get to chose who does what to their body. children are often viewed as extensions of parents, appendages to make and complete families.
One question that I think sums this idea up well is "when do children get to become people?" At what point does it become unacceptable for striking another human being? When? 5 perhaps because it might become ineffective? 15 perhaps because they might start to fight back at that point?
My children, from the moment they are born, belong to themselves and to God. I get to steward them for a few years. but I dont own them. they are not animals. I can't decide when my child becomes a human being who doesn't deserve to be hit unless they were never a human being in the first place.
I want to teach my child the sacredness of her own body. that she cares and nurtures for it. that she is "in charge" of her own body. That she is the boss of it. That she gets to decide who touches it and when and on what terms. Of course I realise there will be times when she has to be touched and maybe does not want to be, like seeing a doc for instance, but I really want to respect her no meaning no.
I feel that hitting her would be violating that sacred space that she has earned by being a human being. I do not like to be hit. Niether does my husband. And niether does either of my children.
People do not generally react well when I call spanking hitting. I remember the first time I heard it described that way and I cringed. But the fact is, to a two year old a hit is a hit. It doesn't matter if it was done "lovingly" or not. The logic of hitting someone because you are bigger and stronger than them does not sit well with me. but then the whole paradigm of punishment no longer sits well with me. I truly believe that you don't have to make someone feel bad to make them behave. I think its quite the opposite of our shaming culture.
but enough for tonight....
as an adult I have a choice. I can chose to subject my body to violence if I really want. I can drink excessively, do drugs, whatever. I am free to chose.
but children often *don't* get to chose who does what to their body. children are often viewed as extensions of parents, appendages to make and complete families.
One question that I think sums this idea up well is "when do children get to become people?" At what point does it become unacceptable for striking another human being? When? 5 perhaps because it might become ineffective? 15 perhaps because they might start to fight back at that point?
My children, from the moment they are born, belong to themselves and to God. I get to steward them for a few years. but I dont own them. they are not animals. I can't decide when my child becomes a human being who doesn't deserve to be hit unless they were never a human being in the first place.
I want to teach my child the sacredness of her own body. that she cares and nurtures for it. that she is "in charge" of her own body. That she is the boss of it. That she gets to decide who touches it and when and on what terms. Of course I realise there will be times when she has to be touched and maybe does not want to be, like seeing a doc for instance, but I really want to respect her no meaning no.
I feel that hitting her would be violating that sacred space that she has earned by being a human being. I do not like to be hit. Niether does my husband. And niether does either of my children.
People do not generally react well when I call spanking hitting. I remember the first time I heard it described that way and I cringed. But the fact is, to a two year old a hit is a hit. It doesn't matter if it was done "lovingly" or not. The logic of hitting someone because you are bigger and stronger than them does not sit well with me. but then the whole paradigm of punishment no longer sits well with me. I truly believe that you don't have to make someone feel bad to make them behave. I think its quite the opposite of our shaming culture.
but enough for tonight....
posted by Candice | 11:35 AM
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